Feel free to let me know what you think. I know they aren't perfect, and I wouldn't post them if I really didn't want to make them better.  :-)

( Frank )

 

( All Was Golden in the Sky )(I'm not sure about the tense in that one.)

I'm working on a few more, but there isn't enough to them that they're worth anyone's time yet.

( Emo college whine. )

But I suppose rather than bitching and moaning about it, I should go study. Or go to bed so I'll wake up tomorrow at a reasonable hour and be able to study. It is tempting just to read, though.

So the game was spectacularly AWESOME! Oh my gosh! The first half I spent next to Tayler, my super hot drill instructor, which was great fun. And the second half I spent next to Gio, about four or so rows back from Robert. And at one point he was right on the other side of Brooke (who was on the other side of me) and I about had a fit.

But that's not all! We played Get It On in post-game, and suddenly I saw this saxophone come pelvic-thrusting past me, and I thought it might have been him, but his back was to me, so I wasn't sure. But then he turned around and moved back down the sax line, and by the end of the 8 bars of pelvic thrusting, he was right next to me. So I played the rest of the tune with Robert right next to me. HOLY. SHIT. I almost died.

That's complete hyperbole, but I was so excited I did slip up more than usual. I figured he'd move away from me at some point, but he didn't. The entire rest of the song. Oh my god. It actually put the hope in me that he remembered me from last week when I talked to him, but I really doubt he did. I said hi to him this morning after practice (in the rain...for three hours...whee!), and asked if he'd seen the flutes (I was trying to find Stephanie), but he didn't look like he recognized me at all. I will say this though: three hours of rain and he just had a white tshirt on. Oof. Caitlin made a vomitous face, but I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud. It's kind of infuriating that I'm doing the same thing I did all through high school, where I fall in love with the idea I've created of someone I think is attractive without even knowing them. And it almost always ends with my relization that that person is not nearly that great. Really, I could deal with that last bit, but what bugs me is that it's the same thing I did the last four or more years, and I know it's not like people move into their dorms and are suddenly different people, but I don't like to think that I'm the same as I was in high school.

Anyway, that was very exciting for me. I'm still trying to pretend that he didn't tell me about Anne. You'd think that, being that they aren't dating yet, I wouldn't mind as much because it means there's still a chance, but frankly, it just means I have to wait even longer for him to break up with her. It sounds cynical and nasty, but I really don't want him to be unhappy. I just wish I knew him better. Of course, I say that, but if I was friends with him, I'd just say I wished I was closer to him. It really doesn't stop until you hit dating...

I honestly would go to a band party or something after a game. Just that all the guys I know who go to those parties are dating someone, so it might be weird, or they're freshmen, and therefore not helpful at all because they don't know anybody. Not that all freshmen aren't worth knowing, just that I feel I'd do better with a handicap like having an upperclassman with me.

I need a party buddy. Blah.

Oh! But Caitlin's boyfriend came to visit tonight from Tech, and now I'm jealous. Not of him specifically, I just want a cute boyfriend. Preferably Robert. I know I should just give up and lower my standards, but I'll be honest, I just don't want to. I feel like if I need to lower my standards to get a boyfriend, maybe it's just not worth it. I just don't think my standards are so ridiculously high.

I saw your eyes just roll. I know...

But oh my god! I just remembered! I swear, this is going to sound horribly cheesey, but I honestly think it's the most beaufiful band tradition I've ever seen or heard of. After the game tonight, the trumpets from NCCU and the MRD trumpets all got together in the center of the field and played Band of Brothers. No joke, it brought tears to my eyes. I've heard the trumpets play Band of Brothers before, and it was beautiful, but I never knew it was their end-of-game tradition. It was such a beautiful moment, and I wish the mellophones had something even vaguely similar. It makes me wish I were a trumpet.

So I have a ton of homework, and I want to get some reading done ahead of time for next week, and I'm going to be spending half the weekend doing band things... So instead of doing my homework, I'm posting! Yay!

Today hasn't been as bad as I expected it to be, though. I was nasty sick yesterday, so I skipped calculus (second day in a row), but I made myself go to band because we were learning new pregame stuff. Actually, by the time practice rolled around, I didn't feel as terrible, but I did have to sit out for a while. I made it through most of it, though. And I expected to wake up feeling just as bad today, but I actually feel kind of alright. I mean, now I feel fine, just a little nauseous. I was a few seconds late to English this morning, but she didn't mark me late because it was hardly noticeable. And we got out of that class about ten minutes early. Then in my communications class, my professor kept crying, because her dog is really sick, and she had to go to the vet after class to have her put down. So she left about ten minutes into the class, and we just had to decide in our groups what topic we want to present and pass around email addresses, so we got out of there about half an hour or twenty minutes early.

My twentieth-century class is really fun (at least for now) because we've been talking about World War I. And I was on a roll in class this morning, too. That was exciting. Until about half-way through I got distracted and started thinking about Robert and things and then I completely lost whatever he was talking about. Something about self-determination and nationalism. I wrote things down, but I'm not sure if they make any sense, and they're all pretty general. Oh well...

And we have a show at Harrisonburg High tonight, so I have to go get into my uniform. I'll probably come back to this later and fill in the rest of my day.

EDIT at 9:50: And we're back!

Anyway, I discovered that one of our dining halls makes really good wraps. So I got one for lunch, and actually just had half of it a few minutes ago. And I also discovered that another guy I think is super hot is dating a chick named Anne. That's the second one in less than a day! (The emphasis being on two boys I like dating girls with the same name.) Dammit. Apparently, I need to lower my standards. This shit just isn't working. Son of a bitch.

But the show tonight wasn't bad. We went over to the high school, ran the show a few times, marching on at half time, did the show on the field, and then went back to the buses. It was interesting, at least.

And now I'm watching TV instead of doing my homework. Titanic's on. Jack's about to die. Woop.

Blegh... I should be writing papers.

So I had a really sweet dream earlier. It would have made me giggly if I hadn't been about to fall asleep again. And I made a point to think about it before I fell back asleep so I could remember it now, but I don't know how well it worked. Things are starting to get jumbled, so I think I should write it down quick.

Anyway, I was having a really bad day, involving travelling through very seedy areas of what I could only imagine was meant to be Istanbul, and almost getting arrested by the cops just for walking through where some guys had set up selling stuff all over the sidewalk (fortunately, Caitlin and I slipped out between the edge of the portcullis and the wall--surprisingly, with the support of the people all stuck there, who knew we'd just been passing through-- while the police went to get back-up. Oh, and there were R.O.U.S.es. They were really scary. And gross. So we went home to campus, and this is where things get fuzzy and gaps come in. I know I ran into Matt, and we were talking, but kind of on the way to somewhere. Like, I didn't really stop, he just kind of jumped in step with me, and we kind of telepathically decided we were going to get food, without either of us asking. And when that didn't really work, we ended up just getting coffee, but in the meantime an Icelandic man had to hit on me profusely even though he was clearly much, much older than me, and it was creepy. So I made a kind of snappy comment in response to something he'd said about the difference between men and women fencers (I said something about women being better at it--and he was a fencer), and then walked away. And after that I kind of only remember hanging out with Matt and kind of doing that thing where you both make more contact than you need to, until it evolves into holding hands, and then leaning, etc. But it was so cute. And he looked so young and happy and healthy again. And I just felt comfortable with him. It was great. And then later I was thinking how I should run down the street (campus was suddenly in Hershey) to his apartment, and in my half-sleeping state, I thought "Wait, I'm dreaming! Why don't I run down there for real?" And then I woke up, and remembered the reason I don't run down there now is because it's a little far away.

I know I had a dream or two after that, but I can't really remember it. I think it had to do with history books, switching classes, and the bookstore, but I'm not sure. I've been thinking too hard about this one for too long now I've forgotten the other ones. Damn.

I'm thinking I'd walk up to Robert and snog him. And then ask him out to a movie or something. That being said...

Busy, busy week. As I'm sure you can tell by the lack of posting. There are seven of us sitting around in my room now, but it's not that interesting. Classes are going pretty well. I really like my communication class, and my history from 1500 class. Band is great, but sectionals aren't very fun. At least they're only once a week. I like my section, but it's a lot of people, and I don't know half of them. Admittedly, that's my fault because I didn't go to the mello party things.

And I talked to above-mentioned Robert the other day. It was awkward...and he didn't smile at all... It worries me. I don't want him to think I'm creepy. Or a stupid freshman, really. And I feel bad because I think he felt like I interrupted his time with this girl he was talking to. And I also feel like, if he's not dating her already, he will be fairly soon. Which is a bummer. Especially because she's a lot prettier than me. And I'm sure a lot more fun.

And enough of the self-pity. Anyway! I need to go find Gio and ask him if he'll go to UREC with me this weekend. I swear, I lost a few pounds at band camp, and I probably gained more than that in the last week from all the crappy food. Seriously not sure what happened that I stopped having salad. Blegh...

And I'm off.

                 So today I fixed my schedule: I dropped all my music classes and added another history class, calculus, and a class on English lit. from Beowulf to the 18th century. I'm not so much looking forward to calculus, especially because I have it four days a week, but I'm generally really psyched for my schedule. Tomorrow I have training for the bookstore this week, and I really wish I didn't. I know I need the money, but I have so many things I want to do tomorrow, and training isn't one of them. And I have to go to stupid convocation. I really want to skip it, but nobody seems exactly sure what in hell it is, so I probably shouldn't. I also just realized today that I have some problems with my schedule for calculus and the hours I'm supposed to work this week. Shit. 

                 Somewhere in the middle of that we left to go to Jessica's dorm to get Caitlin's stuff and now I'm chilling in my room with Jessica, Anthony, Bryan, and a guy named Mike. Caitlin just ran out to talk on the phone. Just thought I'd fill you in. 

                 And I'm really tired. So I'm going to go do my Oscar Wilde fangirl thing, and then go to bed.

Moved in a few days ago. It feels like longer really. We've been having full days of band practice in the sun since we got here. It's really tiring. But I got a spot on the field, so it's cool. A lot of the people here are pretty airy and bubbly, and my section leaders are kind of trying to force some bonding. I hate that. They're nice people, and I don't really dislike anybody in the section, but I don't feel right hanging out with them outside of band. It's awkward. But there are some cool girls on my hall. And there are some cute boys upstairs. Actually, the guys right above us have a strobe light. We heard rave music coming from the ceiling earlier, so we went up to meet them. And Thursday or Friday I should be able to get my schedule fixed up. I'm really looking forward to that. We also don't have band until five on Thursday. Woo! 

I'm pretty ready to start classes though. And hang out with fun people, not just the people I have to be around.

I've decided my goals are to become as follows (in no particular order):

-a generally liked writer
-a great musician
-an Olympic medalist (upon reaching this point, this goal will be reset to: beat Michael Phelps' medal record)
-an Amnesty International or U.N. official

EDIT at 11:30PM: Yeah, so nine golds. ...Damn.

I watched History Boys earlier. It's a lot better than I expected it to be. I actually bought it on a whim, and I'm glad I did. It's fun, and it's got lots of cute boys with accents, and gay boys, and nerdy quotes and things. :D The ending is really sad, though. I can't say it's "really" sad, because I just watched Schindler's List the other day, but it isn't happy. Anyway, good movie. 

And I'm moving up to Harrisonburg tomorrow, so I might update tomorrow night, but I might also be exhausted or doing stuff. I also should go to sleep because I have to get up at six.